Becky Says...

November 2004

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November 18

The decedent whose estate is being represented by one of our attorneys and who has received so much unintentionally funny mail got some more today. Turns out she was on a mailing list for the local hospital's educational programs. They were sending out information on their latest program. On infertility.

Other than that good laugh, the rest of the day was fairly low-key.

After work, I ran an errand, which will save me some time this weekend, and which resulted in my finally having a birthday cupcake for this year. Okay, more than one, but they weren't available in single-serve containers.

For some reason, this year I really wasn't in the mood to bake a cake for myself. I don't have a problem doing that most years, but this year I wanted someone else to do the cooking, and was happy to let the "someone" be an anonymnous baker at the grocery's deli. It's a little after the day since the other time I was in the store this week they were out of cupcakes.

But tonight they had exactly what I wanted. All is good.

November 17

I had, a while back, thought about trying to take some time off work around Thanksgiving, to go back to my home church for N's last official Sunday as music director. But then I realized how much it would take out of me, and I don't mean money, to have to deal with that holiday there. And I changed my mind about the trip.

My family there, on both sides, has a way of getting very dysfunctional at Thanksgiving. I think we do so to get it out of the way for Christmas; usually people are lovely then. But at Thanksgiving there are arguments and bickering in abundance. It's almost as though we've planted a crop of ugly that we harvest on the Wednesday of that week, and serve up as a side dish.

And I don't need that. I am usually a spectator to the arguments, because I don't really have anyone there to argue with about anything. But as much as I hate being in an argument, I hate being witness to one. So I'm doing my own mental health a favor and skipping the fray.

There was one situation that could have been an argument, had I let it. The cousins on the paternal side asked me why I continued to go to the dinner held at the maternal cousins' home after my mother was dead. They wanted me to join them in a pilgrimage to another cousin's home in South Carolina instead. I thanked them for the invitation, but declined, saying that I had already accepted the maternal ones' invitation, etc.

Even though I'm sure the paternal ones meant well, I really didn't like the tone of the question. I wound up feeling as though I were in some weird custody battle, as both child and judge.

Staying here definitely prevents that one arising again.

Text copyright 2000-2004 Becky