Becky Says...

May 2006

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Revisiting a Chosen Brother - May 4

Today's entry is a reprint of a 2004 entry about the first of the chosen brothers, D. He would have turned 56 today. He died in July 1995 of non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I can truly say that not a day goes by when those things I learned from him don't surface and serve me well. Last year I wrote about getting to know him. That's one of my favorite entries, by the way, along with the one below. And the descant mentioned got finished last year.

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On May 4, 2001, I wrote one of my all-time favorite entries. It was a tribute to my chosen brother D., whose birthday was May 4. D. died in 1995, and I miss him to this day. I can't think of much else that I want to talk about tonight, so I'm revisiting that entry and adding comments. The 2001 entry paragraphs are Italicized.

You've been on my mind all day; more this year than other years. Probably because I had the time to think.

You've been on my mind much of the past few days. I've been thinking about some of the times we shared. Finding David Bibb's website brought a lot of that back. Happy thoughts.

Did you ever realize what a profound impact you had on my life? It's true, even if you might not have realized it. You were one of those rare, wonderful people who made me think, on levels that everyday life doesn't demand. And I thrived on that.

And I am grateful.

During this week, I've thought of the two pieces of music I most closely associate with you. I have played them, and hummed them. And missed you keenly.

This year, too. And the descant I promised to write on one of those is in the works.

I learned a lot from you. A lot of music, but more about other things.

Oh I am the queen of the understatement. Much of what I learned from you, musically and otherwise, is still very much part of my life. Again, I am grateful.

You had high expectations of me, and I did my damndest to live up to them. Because you always tried to live up to the ones I had of you.

And I know we forgave each other the times we failed to live up to them.

You were the first of the chosen brothers. I'm glad I had a chance to tell you that. And to let you know you were loved.

I'm glad we overcame our respective shynesses and got to be close.

On this day, your birthday, I celebrate that you were part of my life.

And though I wouldn't have you relive the illness, I wish you were here.


Text © copyright 2000-2006 Becky