Becky Says...

October 2010

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Saturday - October 2

Several things today.

First, my heart is with those who cared about Tyler Clementi, the gay Rutgers student who committed suicide after his privacy was violated. I have seen a lot of links to various sites suggesting ways to help prevent future potential suicides, and others asking for gay adults to let it be known that things gets better. If you are so inclined, please search and act on those suggestions.

And before anyone tells me, yes, I already know that sometimes it doesn't get all that much better. But hope is a wonderful thing to have, yes? And "better" is in the mind and life of the individual.

I'm a straight girl. I have no idea what it is to deal with both puberty and societal negatives surrounding homosexuality at the same time. But I do know what it's like not to fit in with a presumed peer group (classmates, here), and how horrible it can be to be the target of those who would bully or otherwise pick on someone who is different, however different is defined.

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Once again I'm facing losing my apartment if I can't come up with several months' rent plus the fees by Monday at 9:00 a.m. I have known this for several days, and have been trying to sell (locally) all the things I think will sell quickly. I still need around $1,250 for this, and am not sure I'll be able to pull it off this time. And no, I don't know what I will do if it doesn't work out.

If you are inclined to help, you can buy a gift certificate ($10.00 minimum) for anything at the site (still working on getting the site uploaded, so you'll probably only find the index page active), or you may make donations. For both, please use PayPal, to rebecca @ (of course, remove the spaces).

I still have some hope for the future, but not a whole lot. Too many things haven't panned out this year, mainly because I don't have the necessary stills/background. I'm still investigating a couple of possibilities, and attempting to skills-polish, but so far, no luck. And public assistance, which I have investigated, is not happening.

It is demoralizing, to say the least, to be my age and wonder if there will be work enough to provide rent or grocery money. It is demoralizing to remember the days when such things were not an issue. It is demoralizing to sell one's treasures. And it is particularly demoralizing to feel like a failure.

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I am also planning to offer for sale some one-off crochet work that needs to be photographed. I didn't think of this till late tonight, and daylight photos will be better, so stay tuned.

Text © copyright 2000-2010 Becky