Becky Says...

February 2009

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A Memory - February 15

A lot of this weekend has found me thinking back to the last few years of my mother's life.

This got started because a friend who is an Episcopal priest mentioned plans for setting up some ongoing support for parishioners who are caretakers for ailing family members, and asked her friends who are or have been in that role to share ideas.

I'm thinking on that, in terms of what was helpful for me during the time I was with Mother. But honestly, the first things that have popped into my mind are the things that did not go so well.

For instance, I keep thinking of one of Mother's friends who really wasn't that close to her, but who did try to help. This woman loved to cook, and often showed up with some goodie for the two of us. But sometimes she left her brain back home in the kitchen.

There was the day she decided Mother and I had been without her yeast rolls for far too long, and brought a panful, ready to bake. Only she didn't think fast enough to bring the rolls without the pan. I'm a little fuzzy on why we didn't transfer the rolls to one of our pans and wash hers on the spot, but for whatever reason, we wound up using her pan.

Which was one of her favorites, and which she called about the next day. At 7:30 a.m.

I think I used up all my polite for the next week dealing with that call.

Maybe my contribution to my priest-friend's cause is a list of how not to annoy the people one wants to assist.

Text © copyright 2000-2009 Becky