September 2007

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Most people who know me know I really hate onions. I won't eat them unless they're totally disguised (read: drowned out by garlic) in sauces. And if you ever need to make me nauseated, don't bother with ipecac. Just start cooking an onion.

Apparently one of my neighbors has a real need to cook onions daily. This wouldn't be a problem except that the smell is getting to my apartment. I'm not sure exactly how, but I think it's through the plumbing openings in the utility closets, behind our respective hot water heaters.

I think they're secretly in cahoots with the air-cleaning products people.

I have visions of myself doing vigilante spraying...where I show up in the connecting utility closets in appropriate superhero garb, wielding a can of air cleaner. That could be fun, but those openings in those closets is fairly small and you never know what someone might have stored in the closet that might dirty my outfit.

Which would, of course, displease me from a laundry point of view.

So I think the best idea is to convert all these people to cooking something less aromatic. It's just less unpleasant all around.