Becky Says...

August 2005

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Venting - August 22

Before I launch into the bad parts of today, I need to acknowledge the kindness of a friend who took me to get groceries after work. That let me work later and get a few things that would have been too heavy or bulky to bring home on foot.

The bad, hard parts of today happened earlier. One person grieving for Zoe, who did not hear of the loss until this morning, took the grief out on me in anger. And I had to put on my best polite face and let the anger spew. Let's just say I earned every cent I made today.

But that episode colored all the rest of my day.

The thing is, I want to rage myself. I want to ask the universe or God or whoever why it is that there is so much wrong right now. I want to ask why there has been so much to be sad about this year. Why it is that I'm having so much trouble believing things will ever be all right again.

But I know that other living creatures are not the target of my anger. So I'm doing my best to keep it out of their faces, except in ways where they know for certain it isn't directed at them (like writing about it here).

* * * * * * * * * * *

Adding a little insult to the injury about the loss of the car: a form letter from the owner of the small chain of garages the last one was part of, blathering on about how they valued my business and hoped my recent visit brought me satisfaction.

Umm, well, no. And if he had paid attention to the outcome he would have sent me a sympathy message instead of trying so hard to promote his company.

I actually plan to respond to that one, making that suggestion in a little better way, when I'm not quite so annoyed about the letter.

See, I at least have the grace to realize I'm grieving, that he meant me no harm, and that he was trying to do a positive thing.

Text © copyright 2000-2005 Becky