Becky Says...

July 2005

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Published Anger - July 10

I've spent a lot of time today thinking about something I read yesterday. It was a lengthy obituary of a woman who had lived a couple of counties away from me.

In the obituary, which was full of praise for the deceased, one or more of the adult children decided to say something really unkind about a sister of theirs. (For the sake of pronouns, I'm going to go with the premise that it was a group decision.) Seems they were really pissed off at how they perceived this daughter treated their mother in the last weeks of her life, and thought it appropriate to mention this in detail in the obituary.

Some of the people who have read it thought this was appropriate and funny. Me, I am with those who thought it was inappropriate, not funny at all, and extremely mean. I do not know anyone in the decedent's family. Nor do I know any of the backstory on the anger. But it was pretty clear that the piece of writing had a backstory.

In thinking about it, I have been wondering how the mother would have felt, had she been reading it. I suspect it would have embarrassed her that her children were fighting, and that a group of them found it necessary to air the fight in something that is supposed to serve as a remembrance of a loved one.

I'm sorry the angry ones couldn't think of a better way to deal with their anger. I'm afraid this way will be around to haunt them for years to come.

Text © copyright 2000-2005 Becky