March 2005

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This is probably a good time to mention the notify list. You'll find out how to sign up by following that link. What you'll get for signing up is e-mail letting you know that an entry has been posted, and a few words about it. It won't have secret information. It doesn't have contests or prizes or promises of riches. It does let you know where I've posted an entry if Diaryland is down. (Hint: going to beckysays.com and clicking "Current Entry" will get you the same information.)

My thanks to Andrew at Diaryland and those who helped him restore service. It's a nightmare when a server crashes, and crashes are not something that can be predicted. There are so many sites hosted there that it's amazing to me that there aren't more problems.

Today has been okay. Actually, the day itself was beautiful; a perfect example of spring's first day with pretty blue skies and lots of warm, gentle wind. My experience of the day has been okay. I got some more rest, and the errands got done. I did not watch any basketball (Carolina seems to do better if I don't watch). I am pleased they've made it to the Sweet Sixteen round of the NCAA Tournament.

And now, as the evening has turned into night, I'm thinking of the week ahead and getting ready for it. Here's hoping it's a good week for us all.

The Short Version - March 19

The short version is I don't feel well.

I've had some ear troubles the past week, in the bad ear (the one I never have heard well out of, which is the one on the right if you're keeping track). But I hate that I've had to deal with the ear, and be scared about what it meant to have that particular set of troubles.

Today I have been resting from the week just ended. I hate that the tiredness and the feeling bad took over today.

I don't know what to say about the server failure at Diaryland, except I'm sure the people behind the scenes are doing as much as they can to get things sorted out and working again. But I hate it.

During the week, an acquaintance of mine died. And my week was such that I didn't know about it in time to go to the service. I would have, had I known. A year or so ago, a son preceded him in death. I hate for his widow that she's had these two losses, and that they've hit so close in time.

I hate that it's the first day of spring tomorrow, and I'm not getting my usual hopeful-that-things-will-be-better vibe.

I hate that my life comes down to loss, and worry, and more loss.

I hate that I don't bounce back from disappointments better.

And the short version is I hate the hate.