March 2005

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The short version is I don't feel well.

I've had some ear troubles the past week, in the bad ear (the one I never have heard well out of, which is the one on the right if you're keeping track). But I hate that I've had to deal with the ear, and be scared about what it meant to have that particular set of troubles.

Today I have been resting from the week just ended. I hate that the tiredness and the feeling bad took over today.

I don't know what to say about the server failure at Diaryland, except I'm sure the people behind the scenes are doing as much as they can to get things sorted out and working again. But I hate it.

During the week, an acquaintance of mine died. And my week was such that I didn't know about it in time to go to the service. I would have, had I known. A year or so ago, a son preceded him in death. I hate for his widow that she's had these two losses, and that they've hit so close in time.

I hate that it's the first day of spring tomorrow, and I'm not getting my usual hopeful-that-things-will-be-better vibe.

I hate that my life comes down to loss, and worry, and more loss.

I hate that I don't bounce back from disappointments better.

And the short version is I hate the hate.