Becky Says...

December 2004

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December 13

I am one of those people who is telephone-shy. I've been that way pretty much all my life. To be clear: I'm hesitant about instigating the calls, and I'm speaking of personal ones. Even with really close friends, I've always been a little afraid that I'd call at the wrong time, or my call would otherwise be unwelcome. Never mind whether or not that's realistic.

I'm now finding that shyness is extending to instant messages. I know what's set that off. I've had several very recent occasions where I've accidentally intruded on someone's day by sending an instant message. And the one on Sunday that left me feeling like a fool is the trigger for the plea I'm about to make.

People, instant messages are optional. If you are too busy to deal with them, either set things to show that you're away or busy (depending on what program you use), or close down the software completely. If you only want to chat with one or two people, block everyone else. Read the directions. You can save a lot of hurt feelings.

December 12

I've been trying all month to keep my chin up, with regards to Christmas coming. And I'd been doing pretty well with that effort until sometime late Saturday afternoon, when the chin props fell out and I found myself in tears.

I had started crocheting this year's Christmas snowflake. I was enormously pleased when the snowflake really took shape---when it hit the point that I knew what it would look like when it was finished. This year, it sort of told me what it wanted to look like---I was thinking pointy and spiky, but it turned out otherwise. And that was good and I was pleased.

But something about finishing the design elements, and talking about that with a friend, started loosening the chin props. And darkness came. Then the sadness came, and brought with it a flash of anger and some tears.

The sadness that I really don't have good words for, except to call it Christmas. The anger that was mainly grief. And the tears that both magnified then washed a lot of the preceding away.

In the midst of them came the realization that there was something good in this. I recognized within those minutes what was going on with me, and knew that I could reinstall the props, at least up to a point. They may have lost some of their height in the process, and they are rather fragile.

But they're working, so far.


I am delighted to be participating again in Holidailies. In addition to those participating in the portal, there are writers who are doing "Holidailies at Home." A list of those participants, as well as other information about Holidailies, is available through the link.

Text © copyright 2000-2004 Becky