April 2004

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Among other things on my mind tonight, I'm thinking that those of you who are new to this site from this time last year probably don't know that the anniversary of my mother's death is Saturday. This will be the eighth anniversary.

Three years ago, I wrote a series of entries about the last days of her life. If you'd like to read them, they start here and continue through the April 24 entry.

Rereading those entries takes a lot out of me, but at the same time, does me a lot of good. I am glad, for my sake, that I wrote them.

You've no doubt figured out from various things I've written that my relationship with my mother was a complicated one. Please know that beneath the complications there was a great deal of love.

April 21

Another of spring's gentle things is the cherry trees at the office complex. The blossoms are delicate, and fragile, but can stay in place through some surprisingly strong winds.

A few years ago one of our clients came in one afternoon with fallen blossoms in her hands. She said she wanted to see them up close, and feel them, and figured it was all right since they had already fallen from the tree.

I thought at the time it was a bit odd, but I've thought a little more and have realized what she really wanted was to touch the gentleness.

I'm glad she had the courage to reach for it. Sometimes reaching for gentleness is an incredibly hard thing to do. The rewards are worth the effort.