Becky Says...

September 2003

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September 7

Some group related to the brick industry is currently airing a commercial that includes the tagline, "Real homes are made of brick." And I need to pay more attention to the thing, to see which group is responsible for that line.

Yes, I'm sure I'm taking it the way they mean it---that if your dwelling doesn't have brick walls showing, it isn't a real home. And that sort of smug, insensitive comment offends me, no matter what product is being pitched.

I admit I let most of them slide. This one just seems to go way too far, and that's why I plan to complain to the proper powers-that-be.

A real home is made of the people who live in it, of course, regardless of the material of which the dwelling is constructed.

In case you're curious, yes, everywhere I've ever lived has been brick, including this apartment. But it isn't a real home because of those bricks. It's a real home because it is.

September 6

By my own invention, the law firm has a phantom client. A few years ago, when I was first learning the intricacies of the billing program, I needed a name to test, to see if what I was doing was correct.

At the time, it was easier to have said name come at the beginning of the alphabet, so Joseph Aardvark became a client of the firm. Poor man. His needs for legal counsel were far-ranging, and covered all the practice areas in which our attorneys work...tax law, corporations, and estate planning, to name several.

He ran up some substantial bills, too, since he had to spend time having appointments with all the attorneys in the place. And none of the work was done pro bono. To make Joe's bill show up correctly on the screen, I had to create some descriptions of services that each attorney he saw had done for him. For instance, one attorney prepared Joe's Will, following an office conference with Joe to discuss various aspects of estate planning.

When it came time to prepare bill drafts to give to the attorneys for review, it was easy enough to exclude Joe's from the batch. Not that any real harm would have been done had his draft been printed, since he had a fake address to go along with his other invisible qualities. But it might have startled the attorneys to learn just how many hours they had spent helping this apparently unmemorable client.

When I was doing the billing earlier this summer, I needed Joe again, to help refresh my memory. This time, it suited me to have him at the end of the alphabet, so his name got changed to Zzardvark.

And I had him billed for meeting with one of our attorneys for what's known as personal general representation work. The description of service I created for that meeting? The attorney advised him on the legal aspects of having his name changed.

Text © copyright 2000-2003 Becky