April 2003

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I have this thing about anniversaries. The good ones, the bad ones, those with significance that may be lost on the rest of the world, whatever. Several of the ones most significant to me are in March and April.

And the thing I've realized this year is that even the anniversaries of happy events --- meeting people, my parents' anniversary, etc. --- are cloaked in sadness because the people involved are no longer around for me to share the anniversaries with them. Dammit.

It's not just the anniversary thing that's cloaked in sadness. Sadness seems to be all around these days. In my own circle, there are people gravely ill, people whose family members are gravely ill, people getting bad news about jobs and/or school admissions, and people for whom the situations are not so devastating but are terribly unpleasant nonetheless.

I'm sending out and gathering in lots of virtual hugs and words of support. Those things do help when things are bleak.

And for the reasons listed above, plus others not on the list, this year I have to agree with T. S. Elliot's words: April is the cruellest month.