Becky Says...

July 16, 2001

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July Sixteenth and Me

I don't have a good track record with July 16. It holds three associations for me---one is not an anniversary of mine, so I can't really call all three anniversaries. Anyway, it's a day that I'm sometimes sad.

The first association goes back to my college years. The man I spent the majority of those years loving would have celebrated a birthday today. He died way too young back in 1988, of complications from diabetes. Although we wound up splitting up, it was a good relationship and we parted because our interests diverged. We went down different life paths, but we parted as friends and I never wished him anything but the absolute best.

He was a rare jewel. I'm not sure he had a selfish thought his whole life. He sure didn't express any when I knew him. What he did have was a wonderful way of making you see the best in yourself. In case you were having trouble finding it, he knew where to look, and was quick to point it out. He was, in my adult life, the first person who loved me just because he did. And taught me I was worth loving by someone who didn't have some family reason or lifetime history reason to do so. And he will always have my gratitude for that.

The second one is an anniversary for me. It was on a July 16 that my former prince (the one who turned into a frog) and I first acknowledged to each other that we wanted our relationship to go to a level other than friends. Unfortunately, that not only did not last, it ended on very unhappy notes. Enough said.

And the third was six years ago. On that July 16, the first of my chosen brothers died, of cancer. You can read more about his impact on my life here. I probably miss him most of all. I know I do this year.

This is another one of those times when I'm going to remind you that if you care about someone, make sure you say so. And because I like to follow my own advice, I'm going to go do just that.

Text copyright 2000-2001 Becky