I was still in college when I moved into an apartment. Knowing I was going to be setting up housekeeping, I got together with my mother to discuss acquiring household items.

Without having to think too hard, we came up with the plan of cashing in most of the trading stamps we had to outfit my apartment. I still remember the day when we took our filled stamp books and headed for the redemption center. And almost had to hire a moving van to get home with our goodies.

Among the items we got for my new place that day were dishes and a set of glasses. I already had plenty of pots and pans, and had inherited some other kitchen items from friends and relatives whose kitchens had been redone. So I was all set.

And I'm still using those dishes and other things. I have had very little breakage, and count myself lucky.

But you'd think after all these years of living here, these residents of the kitchen would be grateful enough for the free rent to help with the housework. Nope, they just flat refuse to wash themselves. I am not all that demanding about it, really---they're welcome to get thenselves clean then hop into the drying rack rather than getting themselves back into the cabinets or drawers. But no. They still make me do all the work.

And on top of that, there's another problem. I can leave a plate in the sink, planning to wash it later, then come back to find a pile of dirty dishes.

I was discussing this with a friend a few years ago. It turns out she has a problem with food disappearing from her kitchen. We came to the conclusion that a third party is causing all the trouble.

This dish-snitching, food-munching phantom is apparently bringing food from my friend's house and eating at my place, leaving my friend to go grocery shopping all too often, and making me clean up the mess.

That's gotta be it. Right?

Have any housekeeping stories you'd like to tell us?