July 9, 2000

Entries
Current Entry
Previous Entry
Next Entry
Archives

Links
Personal Sites
and Forums/Boards
Diaryland
The Hunger Site

Communication
Write to me

I have always loved topaz. It's my birthstone, and I have several rings with topaz stones. I found out about blue topaz a little ahead of its fad time, and have a light blue topaz ring that I wear every day.

A little over four years ago, my mother died. As we were making plans for her funeral, one of my friends told me she had just read a comment that in King John's time, topaz was used as a talisman against intolerable grief. She thought of my topaz-wearing habit when she saw the comment, and wanted to make sure I knew.

That piece of information I kept to myself for a while. But one afternoon, talking with the person whose soul most closely mirrors mine, I happened to mention it. My soul-companion's response was, "Becky, you are my topaz."

And that simple sentence is the loveliest thing anyone has ever said to me.

I hope I'm being topaz to him now. He's Tom, the son of Debbie. I told you about her in this entry.

He is also the first person I ever met online and wound up friends with. We met one Sunday night playing Slingo on AOL. After all the other players had gone away, we quit the game and started chatting on Instant Message, and stayed up till our eyes were too bleary to make sense of the screen. And thus started our friendship.

After that, there were many late-night chats. The similarities between us soon became more obvious. They were much stronger than any differences. I've forgotten when he first called me his soul-companion, but he was right. That's who we are to each other.

Writing e-mail to him became the replacement for my journal---I guess that's one reason online journals' existence makes sense to me. Eventually circumstances limited his computer time, so we started using the phone when we could. And I started having Instant Message conversations with Debbie, to whom Tom introduced me.

But it was all right if we weren't in actual touch, because another thing we realized early on was that we had an ESP connection. Yes, I'm aware that sounds strange to some people, but it's real and you'll just need to trust me on this.

Eventually we met, and I don't think either of us were surprised. He was exactly the person I had thought I was going to meet. And I hadn't attempted to keep secrets from him---after all, we were sharing a soul.

My soul-companion knows that these days, when there's so much wrong, that there's an arm always around his shoulder, holding him close to my ear, my own shoulder, and my heart.

And should you ever meet him, you'll recognize him instantly. He's the loveliest person on earth.

I promised I would share information: Tom told me via Instant Message this afternoon that the doctors are predicting that Debbie will only live about another week.