Becky Says...

2000-06-26

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Upstairs

I live in a ground-floor apartment, and have a neighbor upstairs. I believe there's a requirement in the lease for that apartment: tenant must be willing to stomp constantly when on the premises. And so far, all the tenants who have lived there have been good at fulfilling the clause. This year's version is a thin person, but a damned fine stomper. He must have sore legs from all the work he puts into the performance of his duties.

This one specializes in the stomp-start. That's the art of slamming both feet down on the floor, then stomping across the room. If this were an Olympic event, my neighbor would get the gold.

Over the years, there have been several stupid people who lived upstairs. The worst of them was a tenant who called maintenance to repair a leaky pipe, then stomped out to work without leaving maintenance a key to her extra lock. Mercifully, it was a slow leak. But anywhere there was a conduit for water to come visit me, it did! Ever seen a smoke detector drip?

I sorta-deliberately don't make friends with the upstairs neighbor, whoever it is. Let's just say it's easier to yell curses at the occupant of the space above the ceiling if you don't have plans for coffee with the accursed.

Text © copyright 2000 Becky