Becky Says...

March 2011

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March 6

Sorry for the long break. I've had a lot on my mind, and haven't been in much mood to write.

It's 20 years this winter since I gave up working at Non-Profit #2 to deal with all the medical issues in my mother's life. And it's almost exactly 15 years since she had the third stroke, the one that ultimately killed her.

I miss my life and I miss my mother.

This year is getting cluttered with things that are disappointing. Things I had (reason to have) hoped would happen have not. And I'm not going to go into more details, in part because details involve people whose stories are not mine to tell.

And once again I'm about to be evicted tomorrow. And this time it's a little different, because I'm almost completely out of money and food. I need around $1,600 for the back and current rent and utilities, and no, I'm not asking.

I'm satisfied that I've done all I could do to prevent this. Emphasis on "I could do."

See, here's the deal. Much as I try not to judge myself based on my age, I'm at a point where I have to acknowledge it. I'm 57 years old, and there are things I simply cannot do. Some I never could.

And the last time I was in this position people threw all sorts of advice in my direction, some very useful and some I could not follow. I did expand my job search area, and had some hope that doing this would help. It may well yet pan out. But not in time to save my home.

So tonight I have no idea what happens next. I just know I've done all I could do.

Text © copyright 2000-2011 Becky