October 2009

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Update: Things are much better for me, and I am very grateful. Money came in early this (10/23) morning, and the rent is paid.

This got started in 1990 when my mother had the first (of three) strokes. Up till then, I had a job I liked well enough, and was making enough money that even with a car payment I could still save enough every year for a small treat (vacation, jewelry, something nice). I was even thinking about buying a house, since NC had some plans getting started for first-time homebuyers.

Then came all sorts of uninsured expenses having to do with Mother's life, and sooner than anyone expected, the savings were gone (mine and hers), debt was building (mine and hers, in joint accounts) and my life went sideways.

Two times after then I wound up working at a job I liked (same one twice), but by then I was paying down debt with any money I didn't need for the current month. I've been on one real vacation since 1989 (stayed here or with Mother in 1990), and that was a weekend in Washington, DC in 1998.

The first time I got laid off from that job one of my parting gifts was the filing fee for my business, the one I still have today. And I found some contract work before I ever left the job, so all was well for a while. I learned some HTML, got the website going, sold some crocheted things, got some more contract work, and all was going along. I needed more income about the time my former job needed me back, so that was good.

Four years and change later, I got laid off again, and that was rough. I was still paying some of the debt, and during that year my car had died. Mercifully, the bus system was (and still is) free for local rides.

In the following year, I managed to sell some things with the help of friends, and got the cushion I mentioned in August. The cushion is now gone. The customers are not clamoring for anything I can actually make or do, and jobs for which I'm qualified seem to be nonexistent.

And my very favorite thing to tell today: I found a job listing on craigslist late yesterday that would have been very good for me. It was part-time, mostly work from home, and a little too lucrative, but then again, the hiring party asked for discretion, and people are often inclined to pay well for that. I was composing my cover letter, and realized I was getting too tired to make sense, so I went to bed. When I got up this morning the ad had been removed by craigslist. That's right, it was a sham ad.

I'm late paying my October rent, to the point that if I don't come up with it by 11:00 tomorrow morning I'm going to be liable for more than 200 dollars in late fees. I don't have the money. I may wind up being evicted over this, and I don't have anywhere to go.

No nibbles on the two rings, nor on the costume jewelry (last entry). There isn't much else of value to anyone but me that I currently own, and things I try to sell on eBay, and I mean things like jewelry, don't sell or go for fractions of their worth (I made the mistake of following a power selling group's advice about selling a watch a few years back. It was grim).

So if you're guessing that I'm depressed and scared right now, you'd be right.

And if you're tired of hearing how broke and how scared I am, well, I'm sorry. I'm a thousand times tireder of being them. I promise to write about good times the next time there are some!