June 2006

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Her name is Laura, and she died. Saturday, the cancer won. It was metastatic breast cancer, and she and her oncologists fought hard, but toward the end the fighting stopped. Laura decided to stop all treatment. In fact, she even backed away from pain meds because they were making her feel too odd.

And it sucks. It sucks that her life wasn't easier. She'd had to bury too many people. It sucks that she was young.

She is survived by family members, close friends, and members of at least two online communities. Which is how I knew her. (In case you wonder, she appeared often online as ElleBee, for her first and middle initials.) She had had to stop her online journal, and you'd have to use the wayback machine to get to any entries.

Her death is making me sad, for her and for a couple of other people. It reminds me of my chosen brother D.'s death, in that both had to be taken from their homes for one last trip. D. lived long enough to get to the hospital; Laura died en route. And then there's another friend, Melanie, who died of the same disease, in the same US state. Both those people are on my mind tonight, joining Laura.

But mostly I'm thinking of how my life has been enriched by people I've never met. Like Laura, whose admission in a board post last week that this dying thing was not her idea of fun made me smile and made me reconsider the complicated week I was having.

So while it may seem a little odd tonight to be this sad over someone I really didn't know, I am reminded once again of the true power of the Internet, to be a web bringing us together. A web that inspires getting to know each other and coming to care about people in faraway places. I'm glad I had at least a little time to get to know Laura's mind.

Rest in peace, Laura. Know you will live on in our hearts.