October 2005

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A couple of years and a day ago, I wrote an entry in which I opened up about a few of the things true in my life. Last year and a day ago, I revisited that entry. This year, I'm not going to do that (and if I were I should have done so yesterday). I will say that I still have no regrets about opening up, and I invite you to read or reread the two entries.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I've been thinking a lot this weekend about an expression I use fairly often, "no offense." Apparently it trips the triggers of some people, and apparently some find it to be more often said in sarcasm than in sincerity. And both those things were news to me when I read them this past week.

Whenever I say it, what I mean is along the lines of, "I do not want to hurt your feelings, but I have a different take on ..." Most recently, I used it when a friend asked me if I wanted to receive a specific commercially-prepared food gift at Christmastime.

I don't, and I said so, prefacing it with "no offense," because my reason is that the food item (candy, not fruitcake) is one that I can only eat a little of, but it is only sold in a large quantity. I rarely have enough people around to share it with before it gets stale, and I hate to waste food.

After "no offense," I did go on to explain the quantity problem. I certainly wasn't questioning my friend's taste, and she certainly doesn't want to give me something I can't use. So I'm pretty sure no offense was taken, and I'm damned sure none was intended.

The expression may well be one that's understood differently in different parts of the country. In any event, I'll add it to my list of phrases to use carefully.

Because I definitely don't want to offend people by saying it.