August 2005

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This is how I will remember her. Looking at me, a happy girl with no care in the world because she knew beyond any doubt that she was loved and would be given food and water. And that love thing? She gave it back, every bit.

Zoe's condition worsened, and was determined to be neurological. Yesterday, when she had been at the office, Zoe flinched whenever anyone wanted to touch her, even patting her head, which had always been one of her favorite things in the world. Had she been speaking English, she would have told us it wasn't us she was afraid of, it was the return of pain. But it hurt to see her be afraid.

Today the pain was worse. I got e-mail from Wendy letting me know this. And that it was time to say goodbye to the girl, which, after spending some time with the girl yesterday, I had suspected would be the case.

At work, Younger Partner and I decided the rest of the world could jolly well stay away, so we locked the door and went to our respective offices and did what we could and occasionally shared our grief as we met in the hallway.

There are thousands more things I'll probably wind up saying about Zoe at some point. Tonight, all I can say is I love her, and I always did know she loved me, too.