August 2005

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Early this year, a friend of mine was telling me something about her own personality that I thought she had always known of herself---about something she dislikes doing.

I kept waiting for her to get to the punch line, so to speak. She, it turned out, was waiting for me to acknowledge this revelation of hers as though it were news to me.

But it wasn't. After a few more pauses in the conversation, I asked her if she hadn't known this of herself all along, since the chore itself wasn't a new one to her.

My friend said no, that it was really an epiphany to her to realize that she disliked the chore, which she had just completed at the time of the telling.

I said, "I didn't realize you were just learning this. I thought you were being funny and telling me that you still disliked it, in the same way you might state that the thing you're standing beside is a door."

Since then, whenever we've had these moments, "It's a door," has been the phrase to use. But the subject matter needs to be fairly deep to honor the original, so if you adopt the phrase, please keep that in mind.