July 2005

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An announcement to those in the world who think I'm too nice, to the point of being boring about it:

There are times when snarking and angry behavior are appropriate. There are times when being nice is the better course of action. And I would rather err on the side of nice.

I choose to emphasize the good I see in the world, to encourage more of it. I choose to spend time and energy saying kind things whenever I have the chance.

But for the record: I have one hell of a nasty temper. I try very hard to be nice in public, even when I think one doesn't deserve my nice behavior, because when I am not nice I wind up hating myself. And whoever you are, being mean to you is rarely ever worth the self-hatred.

When I am not being nice, I can be truly, horribly nasty. I can hit below the belt so fast one doesn't see it coming. I can find one's most vulnerable spot and dig into it with my high heels.

But honestly? I hate doing that. I try very hard to keep my anger controlled, and to be fair. Sometimes that winds up meaning I give in to what I perceive as people being unfair to me, even though that puts some dents in my self-respect. The dents are much easier to live with than self-hatred.

* * * * * * * * * * *

On to the second announcement, this one vastly more important:

Patrick is doing a project, one that I think has the potential to do a lot of good for a lot of people. After a friend's suicide at the end of May, he decided to collect stories of people who have attempted suicide. He explains the project and invites participation here.

And I wanted to point it out because he'd like a few more people to share their stories. If you have attempted suicide and are comfortable talking about it (which is very important), you might consider sharing it with Patrick.