April 2005

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It was a rainy day here, and I didn't need to go out. So I stayed home, and watched a lot of coverage of Pope John Paul II's life, on this the occasion of his death. Like a lot of other people, I was disappointed in some of his positions. Not often surprised by them, but disappointed nonetheless.

On the whole, I think he tried very hard to follow his beliefs. And I admire that. May he rest in peace.

I've never been the world's best church member, even back in the days when I actually went to church. I've always had a little private rebel streak. Just because the church leaders told me something was right or how to act didn't mean I would do it if it felt wrong to me.

An example here: for a long time I alternated between playing flute and piano on a volunteer basis for a folk communion service at the local Lutheran church. I liked the music, and enjoyed the service itself.

But there came a time when I really didn't like one of the other musicians, a recorder player who, at the pastor's invitation, joined the flutists. He was much younger than I, and was in personality just exactly like all the kids who bullied me in grade school. I didn't want to spend time listening to him be ugly to people on Sunday mornings. So when it was supposed to be my Sunday to play flute, I pretty much made myself unavailable.

The pastor knew I played solo flute for some other congregations, and got a little perturbed with me about not playing with the group for ours. He said, "Becky, you can't always play solo flute."

Well, yes I can. I am no longer in school band, and for years now have been free to say no to playing volunteer gigs if I didn't want to do them. And in a cleaned-up version, that was pretty much what I said.

I have never regretted that one.