Becky Says...

May 2004

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May 5

I've been getting lots of hits for the phrase, "celebration pictures," which takes people to this page if they follow the link. I'm not at all sure what celebration the searchers want to see portrayed in .jpg form, but I'm close to the top of the list on several search engines for that phrase. So if you're one who arrives here (after the bots crawl this page), I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me what celebration you wanted.

But by all means, enjoy the pictures people sent me. I went back through them today, and enjoyed them all over again.

I've been not using all the available mailboxes with my various websites, and I'm in the process of changing that. There has been entirely too much spam to one of them (the one that got the 618 spam messages the other day, in case you wondered), so I've made sure there isn't a catch-all available for that domain.

I am having fun imagining the reaction to the e-mails bounced by that domain, since for whatever reason it got the most. It, by the way, is a domain I only use for family and occasional works-in-progress things, and to host a few pictures for friends...I don't know exactly how it got on so many spammers' lists.

But if you hear that the whole spam empire came to a screeching halt tomorrow due to overloaded-with-bounced-mail servers, you're welcome!

Revisiting a Chosen Brother --- May 4

On May 4, 2001, I wrote one of my all-time favorite entries. It was a tribute to my chosen brother D., whose birthday was May 4. D. died in 1995, and I miss him to this day. I can't think of much else that I want to talk about tonight, so I'm revisiting that entry and adding comments. The 2001 entry paragraphs are Italicized.

You've been on my mind all day; more this year than other years. Probably because I had the time to think.

You've been on my mind much of the past few days. I've been thinking about some of the times we shared. Finding David Bibb's website brought a lot of that back. Happy thoughts.

Did you ever realize what a profound impact you had on my life? It's true, even if you might not have realized it. You were one of those rare, wonderful people who made me think, on levels that everyday life doesn't demand. And I thrived on that.

And I am grateful.

During this week, I've thought of the two pieces of music I most closely associate with you. I have played them, and hummed them. And missed you keenly.

This year, too. And the descant I promised to write on one of those is in the works.

I learned a lot from you. A lot of music, but more about other things.

Oh I am the queen of the understatement. Much of what I learned from you, musically and otherwise, is still very much part of my life. Again, I am grateful.

You had high expectations of me, and I did my damndest to live up to them. Because you always tried to live up to the ones I had of you.

And I know we forgave each other the times we failed to live up to them.

You were the first of the chosen brothers. I'm glad I had a chance to tell you that. And to let you know you were loved.

I'm glad we overcame our respective shynesses and got to be close.

On this day, your birthday, I celebrate that you were part of my life.

And though I wouldn't have you relive the illness, I wish you were here.

Amen.

Text © copyright 2000-2004 Becky