December 2003

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They're at it again, apparently. "They" would be the Dust Bunnies. In this case, I believe I've aggravated them into abducting an earring and a bracelet. No, I do mean just one earring. If the pair were gone, I might think I had hidden them in the bottom of my jewelry box or something. But no, there's the one earring on the dresser, taunting me every time I walk by.

The earring has been missing for a few days now. But the bracelet didn't get bracelet-napped till sometime over the weekend. I didn't miss it till I was getting ready to get dressed on Sunday. And I haven't had time to do a complete search for it, being as how I had to go to work and all, but search I will.

I didn't mean to disturb the rest of the Dust Bunnies. I really wasn't moving them, but some of them were hurt and/or relocated during the recent moving of furniture around. They thought I was going back on my word not to make them move to new quarters. I thought as long as they stayed within the confines of the room, they were happy. But I should have asked.

The lesson is now learned. Next time I start to do anything that I think will disturb the Dust Bunnies, I think I'll ask them for permission. Or I'll wear a disguise and call myself by an assumed name.

December 7

I have said before of myself that I can take a great deal of pleasure from simple things. That includes simple gifts. But sometimes the simplest gifts are the most complex, and the ones we put the most thought into giving.

My most recent example of this is what I gave myself for my birthday. Freedom to speak. Freedom to loosen my grip on some long-held inhibitions. Freedom to be Becky.

The entry in which I wrote out some very personal things was actually easy to write, once I made up my mind to do it. It was a long time in the thinking, but it was truly meet, right, and salutary so to do. The rewards from writing that have been many.

That entry, along with subsequent ones on being childless and on liking well-crafted porn, shattered a whole lot of my public secrets. And high time.

Those were early gifts. The ones on my birthday itself? Two people I love heard from me that day. They heard that I loved them. I had held off saying so, because that word can carry a lot of baggage. I don't use it lightly.

I doubt it was a surprise to either person, but it was time for me to say "I love you," in unmistakable words. And I'm ever so glad I did. They love me, too. They said so.

I am participating this year in Holidailies, a group of writers who promise to try very, very hard to update daily all month. I am familiar with the work of quite a few of the writers, and am enjoying becoming familiar with others.