November 2002

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A little cognitive dissonance, a little self-pity. Indulge me, please.

This year's birthday celebrations have been better than I could have hoped. I have thoroughly enjoyed all the fuss that was made over me. I have heard from total strangers, and from most of my friends. But.

Oh, come on. You knew there was a but.

Several people---four in particular---I consider friends did not manage to acknowledge my birthday. Yes, they all knew the date.

And they read the damned journal, so it's not like they didn't have the birthday entry, if they needed reminding.

And my feelings are hurt.

Yes, I know the world doesn't revolve around me. I, and most who know me, also know I'm pretty low maintenance and don't need much fuss. I do, however, need some attention paid to significant events, and dammit, my birthday is a significant event.

All four of the people who have managed to hurt my feelings have had their birthdays this year. All four of those have had some sort of birthday greeting from me, so their lack of greeting cannot be a payback. All four have e-mail access, and could have damned well sent me a note saying, "Happy Birthday."

Those two little words, with or without an exclamation point, would have satisfied me. Although I like them, I don't need e-cards, or snail-mail ones, to feel properly acknowledged. Two little words would have been quite sufficient.

So how does this fit in with my thoughts about how it isn't too late to celebrate my birthday until a few seconds before the next one? Well, those who need to celebrate really late have been the ones who asked to do so on or before the day itself. They haven't ignored me. The four who haven't bothered to acknowledge that it was my birthday have apparently decided to do just that.

I would have been okay with belated greetings. But the grace period on belated is pretty much over, especially since none of them otherwise has a reputation for being late with greetings.

Since they have been silent, I don't know if they've had very recent significant events in their own lives (like broken hands) that would have interfered with sending e-mail. I guess it's possible that all four of them sent notes that didn't arrive, but that's stretching the possible into the absurd.

I will say, though, that I have acknowledged all the e-mail I received for the event, so if you haven't received a reply from me, it means I never got your greeting.

And I would have acknowledged hearing from any of the four, no matter how they communicated a greeting.

For those who would tell me not to take things too personally, well, duh, this is personal. It was my birthday. It was my bigdamneddeal day of the whole friggin' year.

And I'm telling you this because it's been on my mind this weekend, and I needed to get it off my chest.

I have already decided how I will deal with these four friends and their appalling lack of manners here; please don't feel the need to write to ask me if they really are my friends. They are. But for some reason individual to each of them, they have hurt my feelings.

Dammit.