Friends of mine who read this will recognize that phrase as one I say fairly often to people trying to make decisions of one sort or another. I don't say it flippantly, or in an attempt to get people to quit telling me what's on their minds.

If the other person wants information or advice from me to help make a decision, that's something I'm happy to share. I'm also happy to be the backboard for people who need to bounce ideas around, since I know how valuable it can be to just say something out loud.

But in the end, I suggest people trust their own judgment, once they have a good understanding of the choices and consequences.

I first realized I trusted my judgment a little over ten years ago, when I had to make decisions regarding medical treatment for my mother. I based my decisions on having known her for a lot of years, and answers to questions I asked. I did consult with other members of the family, but my main goal in doing that was to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything important.

Perhaps the most arrogant thing I have ever heard from someone who was supposed to know me was from a now-ex boyfriend who said he didn't talk with me much about Mother's condition because he was afraid I would ask him to make decisions for me. I stopped to breathe a couple of seconds before asking him who the hell he thought he was, to say such a thing. I had never asked him to make decisions that affected my life, and sure wasn't planning to give him control (or even a vote) over the life of a complete third party!

I trusted my judgment, and came to a much better appreciation of my judgment. And I know from experience the more you trust your own judgment, the more comfortable you will be.