Becky Says...

December 7, 2000

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Pity Party (No, Not Mine)

A few years ago, when I was still working at Non-Profit Agency #1, I got invited to a Christmas party given by a couple who were involved with the Agency. It was a dinner party, and I knew it was to be a small group of people, all involved with the Agency in some capacity.

When I got to their house, I was amused to see that all the guests were single females. But we all knew each other, and it was pleasant company. The meal was quite nice (but apparently not memorably so, since I can't recall the menu).

After dinner, we were invited to come into the living room of the house. Not for coffee and cake, but to decorate the home's Christmas tree. Yes, that's what I said. I wound up being cheerfully forced to help decorate a tree for casual acquaintances.

The host and hostess explained that they knew we were all single and without family in town, so we probably wouldn't have another chance to decorate for that holiday season. They said they wanted to make sure we were not deprived of a chance. This was declared in a most pitying, sympathetic tone. We were supposed to be grateful for their act of kindness.

You have never seen such a display of Southern Polite phoniness. All the guests (laborers) were expected to ooh and aah over the decorations the couple had collected in their years of housekeeping. No, they were not special ornaments, just whatever the local stores had on sale December 26, along with however many strands of lights it took to do their tree. So there we were, thinking this was the most bizarre display of tacky hosting behavior we had been witness to in some time, but being nice about it, because that was the polite thing to do.

I came away from the thing offended as all hell---and I don't offend easily. First off, while I wasn't planning to have a seven-foot tree in my apartment, I do have a Christmas decorating scheme. And my mother was alive and well and waiting for me to get home to help finish the decorations in her house as soon as I took my Christmas break. Similar things were true for the other guests. We compared notes afterward, and none of us had been feeling particularly decorating-deprived.

After the tree-trimming, which was unannounced in the invitation, in case you're wondering, we did have coffee, while we supposedly admired the fruits of our effort. And we were all given a gift, a kitchen towel with some Christmas theme or another on it.

I gave mine to a charity bazaar a couple of years later, still unused.

And all the guests from that gathering made other plans any time this couple wanted to have a party. We were afraid next time out we might be asked to come early and vacuum or something.

Text © copyright 2000 Becky