I'm apparently someone whose role in life is to see the not-lovely side of something, where everyone else is shown only the pretty. More than once I have seen the less-than-nice parts of someone's personality, without having to try at all. And I'm never quite sure why that happens. I am sure it isn't that I've gone looking.

I'll give you the most recent for-instance. I'm part of a crafter's group. At least a dozen members of the group have written glowing testimonials about a member who has been willing to help them out with questions. In fact, I had learned some things from her, too, from things she posted to the group. I had written to thank her for the hints, and had received a nice note from her in response to that.

Well, a couple of months ago I wrote her to ask her opinion about something. Since the question I had was tangentially related to her professional life, I began by offering to pay her for the time.

She wrote back, giving me part of an opinion, but taking me to task for not telling her why I knew who she was. She asked which of two groups I was part of, and used more space whining about "always being asked questions" than she did answering mine. She went on to ask me a couple of questions to get information to help her give me a better answer, promising to get back to me quickly. At no point did she address my offer to pay.

I answered her questions immediately (and apologized for omitting why I knew of her, which I certainly told her in my reply), then waited and waited. Finally, I had to act without any further input from her. I will continue to utilize the information I got from her posts to the group, but I have to wonder why she didn't answer my second missive.

I will admit that perhaps she didn't receive it, but in other cases when she's suspected a member of either group has written her but the mail didn't arrive, she has posted to ask that the writer send a copy. That didn't happen this time.

I'm guessing she ran out of interest or time.

No, I don't plan to write her again. I don't need any advice from someone in her profession at the moment, and if I do, I'll find someone else to ask. And I don't intend to comment to the group about it. It's not a group problem.

But I'm telling you because I need to get it off my chest. There has been another recent round of testimonials about her wonderful, helping nature, blah, blah, blah. Once again she has donned her pretty face and helped out a couple of group members.

But I've seen enough of her backside....

Anything you'd like to vent about?