Becky Says...

September 24, 2000

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Snobs

I don't have much room in my soul for people who run around being snobs. Case in point: a woman who lived in Chapel Hill during my college years who was from my hometown. She knew I would be going home for Christmas, and asked me to take presents to some friends. To pay me back, she invited me to her home for dinner.

And oh how "Ms. Giver" tried to impress me! I'm fairly sure I was supposed to go home and spread the word about how wealthy she was...she did have a lot of nice things in her home. But I never have been one to be impressed favorably with things I considered ostentatious, and her display of worldly goods was just that. So she lost that bid for "publicity."

But where she really lost my respect was in making a snide remark about one of her supposed friends back home; one to whom she was sending a gift. "Ms. Recipient" was a close friend of mine, which Ms. Giver knew. But she felt the need to point out a pronunciation error that Ms. Recipient had made, saying something about it being a pity that Ms. Recipient was so ignorant. I was stunned that she would say this to me, a stranger.

Of course I never told Ms. Recipient about the remark. But it bothered me that Ms. Giver had made such a remark, because Ms. Recipient was always glad to help Ms. Giver with various projects, and opened her home to the woman whenever Ms. Giver wanted to come to town.

I was talking with Ms. Recipient one day soon afterward, though, and realized that she knew more about the other woman than I had thought. She commented that she knew Ms. Giver was using her. And she went on to say she let it happen because she really felt sorry for Ms. Giver since Ms. Giver really didn't have many friends in the area. Knowing that my friend realized the other woman wasn't a real friend made Ms. Giver's remark somehow less important.

As for me, although I played courier for several more sets of Christmas gifts from Ms. Giver, I always arranged to just drop by and pick them up, thus limiting the amount of time I had to be with her.

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In case you're keeping track, this site started three months ago today. It continues to be a pleasure for me. Thanks for reading! And thanks to all who have posted in the forum.

Text © copyright 2000 Becky