I occasionally get wrong number calls on my answering machine. Sometimes I return the call---like the one from a young boy who wanted to get together with his friend one school holiday. Unfortunately, the day he called I didn't check messages for several hours. I hate that they didn't get together, but I at least was able to assure the caller that his buddy wasn't ignoring him.

Another call I returned was to a major national department store's credit department. They had called for someone named Vanessa Not-my-last-name. Still don't know how that mistake got made, but I hope Vanessa paid her bill---they were planning to start legal action against her if she hadn't called to arrange payment on her bill by the end of the business day---five minutes after I got the message.

One I couldn't return---well, actually, several, but all from the same man who was trying to reach his girlfriend. He would call from what must have been a retaurant pay phone, based on the background noise. The calls were probably being made during his lunch break. Each time, he'd address her by name (not mine), leave his first name, and ask her if she was mad at him, since she hadn't returned his calls. I wonder if he ever called her at the right number. (This was prior to *69 service, in case you're curious.)

Two of the more interesting wrong numbers I've ever had were both live calls. One from a man thinking he had reached "Margaret," and wanting to tell her how much he had enjoyed their date the night before. He was nervous, and jumped into his monologue before I could stop him. When he learned I wasn't "Margaret," he was terribly apologetic and hoped he hadn't said anything offensive. Since the most personal thing he had said to that point was that she was sweet and beautiful, I certainly took no offense!

But then there was the girl who called about 3:00 a.m. one Sunday. I was at my mother's house, and was still awake. Mother was sound asleep, so I grabbed the phone quickly. The girl wanted to speak to "Jim." When I said she had the wrong number, her reply was, "I don't THINK so! I think he's there and you're f***ing him!"

Now I can come up with all sorts of answers to that one ("Oh! He said his name was Fred!"), but I went with honest and told her she was mistaken, then I broke the connection. I took the phone off the hook for a bit, figuring she would try calling back.

I'd love to know who she thought she was calling.